I don't tend to write or speak out loud about many issues, but it is something that I want to start doing and what better time than the new year. I have wrote, deleted and rewrote this introduction so many times but I think the best way is to just go for it.
My whole life I have always been the minority, different religion, race and colour. Has it ever bothered me? No. Does it stop me from me being me? No. But it is so hurtful when you see people using things like this against you or other people of a different race. I love watching Deepica Mutyala on YouTube, she is such a great and positive women who spreads love and joy (and who is killing it at the moment!!!) This post is inspired by her xx
This really hit home with me, when I first started blogging a company/PR (who shall to this day remain anonymous) denied me to work with them because of the way I looked. I can't remember the words exactly but it was along the lines of not wanting to work with me because of the way I look. I didn't really think much of it, apart from of course emailing them back and having a rant! I never mentioned this to anyone as it wasn't really something I felt the need to share but when things come up, it reminds you of being in that position.
Did it make me upset? Kind of yes, because it made me really think about the way I look and how the colour of my skin is stopping me from doing things. Soon after thinking like this, I felt stupid and realised that in fact it ended up making me a lot stronger and powerful. Since that email, I have worked with big brands, built relationships with PRs, spoke at my university all about blogging and of course carried on blogging. This comment that was made fuelled my fire even more to prove to them that my skin colour doesn't matter, it makes me different but it makes me unique and it should be something to celebrate not hold me back.
I've never really been the centre of a hate crime and hope that I never have to deal with such a thing but I have always had problems in my life where people judge and look at me for the way I look. Back when I was going to different universities for interviews, 1 of them singled me out big time. They looked up and down at both me and mum when we arrived and then refused to have me in their room. The other students who were there all moved away from me and didn't talk to me for the whole thing. It wasn't until it came to my turn and I gave such a cracking answer, if I do say so myself that they realised that I meant business.
I remember going back to the car to tell my mum how I was treated and nearly reducing to tears because at that time in the 17 years of my life, I had never been made to feel like that. Alone, different and unwanted. It was such a horrible feeling and they had no right in doing that. Safe to say that I declined their offer within minutes of receiving it.
As for this outfit, a big thank you to Laura for these incredible shots. She found this abandoned place in Brighouse and my oh my was it a site. Every corner you turned there was something different to see and look at closely. Because of the graffiti background, I went with a outfit that was quite different in contrast and much more high end. The bag is from YSL (squeals with excitement), the lace top is a recent buy from a local shop near me and then leather pants were a Christmas present from my mum - I can't seem to find anything else to wear apart from these. I am still very much living in shoes and boots because my toes are so cold, they are the type of shoe that you can wear with anything and everything and it looks absolutely fine. This is also the best time of year to buy them for the next winter as they are on offer and there is more choice.
Dealing with racism, name calling or even people talking about you is hard, makes you feel weak and hurts but it should NEVER stop you from doing what you love. No matter how you look, speak, dress - it does not define you as a person. You're unique, different and special and this makes you - YOU.I guess my ramble is kind of just to say that if anyone ever says to you that you can't do something because of the way you look then prove them wrong. Show them that you can not be defined based on looks, they have no clue what you are made of nor do they know what you can do.
As they say 'be yourself, because everyone else is taken'
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